As Lewis Carroll once said “Joyous Day, Callooh, Callay!” The Project Runway collections are out! (It goes without saying, if you don’t want to see the collections until the season finale, do NOT read this post. You are a better person than we are.) The fashion shows kicked off this morning at 9 am in New York, and there were some major surprises in these collections. So what are we waiting for? To the designer slaughterhouse!!
After the jump, exclusive photos from each of the four remaining designers’ collections — along with brilliant commentary, obvs. So who will win? Will it be Uli, Jeffrey, Laura, or Michael? Let’s start the betting!
Let’s kick things off with the not so great.
JEFFREY’S COLLECTION
Jeffrey’s collection was exactly what we’d expected: Kind of strange, not super flattering, and overall kind of ugly with a few winners.
This dress is perfect for that 7-months pregnant woman who is trying her best to lure her husband into bed. This girl can’t weight more than 103 pounds, and she looks huge. The orphan eyes don’t help either.
Our favorite piece in his collection. A little prom-y, a little Tim Burton-esque, a little circus-whorish, but we dig it.
Cheap looking and ugly.
A little too Hot Topic-y.
Perfect for a fashionista at a three-ring circus, which we’re sure described the surrounding madness inside the tent.
WTF is up with this satin babydoll thing? It’s one of the most unflattering cuts — this model looks terrrible.
Note to Jeffrey: Halter-dresses are Uli’s thing for a reason. She knows how to make it look nice, not like an L.A. Gear jacket vommed all over somebody.
MICHAEL’S COLLECTION
This outfit kind of says it all. Michael really lost his touch in the final collection. Which might be the biggest disappointment to us ever — we wanted him to win! But this rhinestoned/gold monokini is like a yeast infection waiting to happen.
Another unflattering and fattering baby doll dress, that strongly resembles J-Lo’s infamous Versace Grammy Awards dress.
Good camouflage for a slut in the jungle.
A little more interesting… but not the Michael we know!
What.
The.
Hell.
This is the ultimate empty sadness. This dress looks kind of like a cheap costume from Dancing with the Stars. Looks like Michael kind of blew it! We have no doubt that he’ll be successful, but this is a big disappointment.
ULI’S COLLECTION
Uli had our second favorite collection of the night. She managed to keep her Uli-ness (”Zis vould be puh-fect for ze beach in ze tropicz.”) but stray far enough from the ropey-halters as to offer something a bit different. We love this dress: the color, the style. But it’s typical Uli.
Throwing a bone to any straight fellas perusing this post.
Not the most innovative design, but nice enough. Although another dress strangely similar to a J-Lo outfit!
Look, we are a sucker for shirt-dresses, and like the fit on the model. Nothing spectacular, but we’re not offended. Sidenote: It Brooke Shields and Posh Spice could merge eggs into a single gorgeous re-re, it would be this model.
If we were to award yearbook like superlatives to these models, this one would score “Most Spectacular Rack.” Seriously, how are those things so high up? Jesus, somebody kill us. Oh, yeah, the dress is alright.
We love the deep jewel-toned purpose of this dress… and look! A sleeve! Uli’s collection didn’t shock or offend, and was super-beachy as was expected, but it kind of looked like it came from two different designers. Which leaves us with our favorite collection of the show…
LAURA’S COLLECTION
We know, we know. We never thought we’d say it. But Laura pulled all the stops with a collection that made us long to one day be nominated for an Oscar so that we could don one. Look at the detailing on the above dress! And we lurve grey and yellow together. OK, let the fashion orgasm begin…
We’ll begin in a second, but look at the back of this dress! We love it.
We know shrugs are a little played out, however we are not indifferent towards this one. We’re obsessed.
Finally, something we’re not totally crazy about. It might also be because the model looks like a ringwraith.
No, now we’re fairly certain, the beige isn’t really working for us.
Back 2 Black! This one missed the mark a little bit with the almost Vincent-like sleeves, but the silhouette is stunning. We almost like the sleeves.
Nelly Furtado works the catwalk. Look at that fit! It seems like as good as the dresses look in these photos, they’re probably 10 times better looking in person. We’re seeing detailing that’s not really jumping out in these pics.
This is only a small taste of Laura’s stuff, and while it is mostly dresses, they were all heart-drainingly gorgeous. (OK, fine, we hate the feathers.) If we had to go with a winner judging from these pics, it would be Laura. Ugh, we can’t even believe we just said that — but talent doesn’t lie folks! Now, to work on exposing our sternums so we can rock these dresses in a year’s time.
What’s your take? Who’s the winner??? We can barely contain our excitement. (With thanks to reader JenParker, who dropped these pics hot off the press!)
