Our favorite source for underage nudity, the New York Post, reports this morning that Daniel Radcliffe, better known to millions of youngsters as Harry Potter, will be “waving his other wand” in a new stage production of the Peter Shaffer play Equus. I know that’s a lot to absorb, so take your time. Harry Potter will play “an emotionally disturbed boy who takes off his clothes and blinds horses,” which is now officially the greatest thing we’ve ever heard. It will also make a nice transition for little Radcliffe into the world of more adult roles involving horse-blinding and nude-prancing. First Dakota Fanning getting raped, now this… what could possibly be next?

We did, however, get a good laugh out of this eerily similar Onion headline: Second-Graders Wow Audience With School Production Of Equus