The NY Daily News brings to our attention rampant speculation in Italy that the new Pope Benedict, née Joseph Ratzinger (which we always read as though George Jetson’s boss were angry with him: “Raaaatzinger!”) is gay. The main reason? Namely, because Pope Benedict wears red Prada shoes. The rumor has been spreading since the day he took God’s office, when gay talk show host Fabio Canino kicked off his show “with a shot of pink smoke wafting from a chimney at the Vatican.” Apparently, the Pope’s boyfriend is his private secretary, Monsignor Georg Gänswein, the “handsome, blond, 50-year-old amateur Âpilot, Âtennis player and former ski instructor.”
Well. We had to know more. So we Google Image searched him and ohmahgawwwwww!!!! MONSIGNOR GEORG GANSWEIN IS DROP DEAD GORGE! No, all JK-ing aside, the guy is 2-DIE-4. As the Italians might say “Illay Fatchay ese muy puntamento ecstatico”, which actually doesn’t mean anything strangely enough. We gotta hand it to the Pope — well played, my good man! MERRY CHRISTMAS! If he wasn’t celebate and/or into guys, we’d have him stuff or holiday stocking every day of the week! And we mean that literally, because we love small toys.
But for serious, more shots of our new Numero Uno Monsignor after the jump… (with thanks to ONTD for calling our attention to this pressing matter.)
