Attention friends and followers of the Lohanvolution! Our Dear Lindsay has once again taken time out of her busy life to send us the very latest news from the front lines of the battle against “those people”, once again releasing her missive via the Page Six press department:
An e-mail she sent to pals last week has the subject title: “They’re all whores, they’re all whores . . . xcept for some obviously!” Lohan wrote in the note, “So . . . 3 hours of pole dancing and bruised. everywhere . . . I mean we’re talkin’ like, UPPER AND INNER THIGH ACTION-bruised . . . like a walking black-and-blue mark.“I mean really though, really, I didn’t know it was actually possible to have bruises in such areas of the body. Strippers dude, I tell you, I really respect the [c-word]s now. . . I’m not gonna lie to ya.”
[...]
Lohan may also move back to New York in a bid to get away from “the toxic L.A. scene with all those toxic people.” Sadly, Lohan seems to be as addicted to those “toxic” people – including her “frenemy” Paris Hilton – as she is to parties. She was out Thursday night partying once again with Hilton, whom she alternately swears she hates and loves.
Okay, so to summarize, a) each and every one of us should go out of our ways to let a stripper know how much we appreciate their hard work in showing their junk off, and b) Paris Hilton should be taken off the “Enemies of the Lohanvolution” list and added to the “Al Gore Committee of Supporters” at once. Stand-by for further instruction.
