I know we’ve given K-Fed a lot of sh*t over the past few years about being a worthless, good-for-nothing gold-digger with no real skills or abilities, existing solely as a parasite upon the naive sensibilities of an impressionable young Britney Spears. But according to this report by The Scoop, it would seem that Kevs is turning over a new wifebeater and finally applying himself to some much-needed scholastic enrichment:

K-Fed is prepared to write a steamy, scandal-filled book about his estranged wife that could include shocking details about wild drinking, alleged drug use, her sexual attraction towards other women — as well as her supposed belief in time-travel…

While we’re not surprised to learn that Kevin is planning to wring every last drop of exploitative cash out of his marriage to Britney, we are both shocked and proud to learn that he is finally going to get around to conquering literacy. Now that he will be able to communicate in means other than ill-conceived rap rhymes and fake gang signs, who knows what sort of profound insights Kevin will have to offer?