The finale for America’s Next Top Model descended upon us last night, and, dare I say, it was the most boring finale ever? Perhaps because this year’s finalists were actually literate, making their Cover Girl commercials surprisingly unhilarious. Even Tyra was shockingly less-mongoloidy then usual! This remaining contestants, CariDee, Melrose and Eugena, flashed their best fake smiles for the camera, with a stern Jay Manuel looking on. (Side Note: Is it just us, or is Jay Manuel slowly morphing into Max Headroom?) The girls aren’t bad, though Melrose seemed to be the most natural. When time came to eliminate one of the girls, CariDee was chosen first. Melrose then put on her “Oh no, I’m f**ked” mask on — only to be picked!
The final Walk-Off was nothing short of hilarious. The theme was “ghost brides”, and had all the potential of being really moving — the dresses were literally drop-dead gorgeous — if it wasn’t for the insane instructions the models were given to run around with white paint on their face, screaming like they just found their baby blue-faced in the crib. For a second, we thought we were watching a trailer for Apocalypto. The episode’s “High Drama Moment” came when CariDee accidentally tore Melrose’s dress with her heel, causing the huge-mouthed mainy to throw a crying fit backstage. It was in that moment that we realized Melrose acted like every entitled starving person we had ever met, and that a win for Melrose was a win for tw*ts… But, luckily, it was CariDee! Who reminds us of a young Rebecca Romaijn. The sad news? No Top Model winner has ever actually become a genuine super-modskies… unless they start dating Queen Latifah, we guess.
Were any of you rooting for Melrose?
