When we initially reported about Jessica Simpson‘s breakdown while singing Dolly Parton‘s “9-to-5″ at the Kennedy Center Honors this weekend, there were two things that seemed fairly certain: 1. It sounded like an intensely embarrassing, startling (and definitely hilarious) experience, what with Simpson flubbing the lines and then quitting mid-song, blaming “nerves”; and 2. The performance would definitely never, ever see the light of day, especially considering that Simpson re-recorded the song at the end of the event for when it will air on CBS.
So it was actually our faces that turned red when none other than Inside Edition nabbed footage from the show… and, brace yourselves… it’s much less humiliating than we had prayed. Kind of looks like Jessica had eaten some New Jersey Taco Bell pre-song, or perhaps she remains one of the few celebrities with just enough body fat to maintain period cramps. Even her dash off the stage is kind of boring, and even a little… (gulp) cute. And we finally discover the one thing that Ashlee Simpson does better than Jessica: Making a complete ass out of herself on television. Sometimes, moments like these are best saved for the Youtube that is our perverted imaginations.
p.s. How sweet is Reese Witherspoon?
