In the middle of last night’s David Letterman show, apropros of nothing, Britney Spears suddenly appeared at Dave’s desk, dribbled out a few half-sentences and giggles, then toddled her way back across the entire stage, ensuring that every man, woman and child in this country got themselves a long look at her newly svelte figure, which wasn’t difficult as Brit appeared to be wearing no garments on the lower half of her body. The only way she could have driven home the message of this “Dress Release” any harder is if there were a giant neon sign blinking “Hot Again!” hanging over her. After admiring the hard work of her team of highly-paid nutritionists and fitness experts, it occurred to us that this isn’t the first time Britney has used Dave’s stage as her own private press conference. After the jump, we’ve prepared a video timeline of several of her more memorable appearances on the show, and what exactly she was there to tell you.

When: Last Night
What: Britney has a walk-off with herself for no apparent reason.
Why: “I’m not fat anymore, y’all!”

When: 5/9/06
What: Britney confirms her second pregnancy by joking that it’s not Dave’s child, which might have been funny were it not K-Fed’s instead. Offers her expert opinions on the Bird Flu pandemic. Tries to read.
Why: “I’m still fat because I’m pregnant again, y’all!”

When: 5/17/05
What: Britney and K-Fed attempt humor by reading a list of the top ten reasons to watch their show Chaotic. Somehow forget to list masochism.
Why: “Kevin’s normal and I’m happy, y’all!”

When: 11/7/01
What: Britney promotes her new album of the same name, and her new image as the kind of promiscuous tramp who just might do something self-destructively idiotic such as marrying their deadbeat backup dancer.
Why: “Keep buying my albums, y’all!”

(Video not embeddable – click photo for YouTube link)

When: In a Land Before Time
What: Exceptionally hot 17 year-old find her way into our hearts through her exposed stomach.
Why: “I’m Britney Spears and I want to be famous, y’all!”