1. In what can only be described as a miracle of human prevailment, this low-budget little comedy about an earnest Kazakhi reporter lost in America was able to defeat the Box Office Goliath of the long-awaited third installment of the Santa Clause franchise, which has added the magnetic star power of Martin Short dressed as some sort of magical ice wizard-elf. Of course, we’ll take complete credit for this victory considering our relentless pimping of Borat, for which we received no compensation of any sort, over the last few months. Jagemesh! – $26.4 million

2. Only one word accurately describes how I feel about this movie: No. – $20 million

3. Now that they’ve literally taken CGI cartoons into the sewers, Hollywood has conclusively proven that there is literally no scenario involving animated animals who talk and sound like celebrities that audiences are not willing to shell out for. In fact, looks out next summer for Maggots, the heartwarming adventure of a maggot named Marvin who must find rotting meat to save his starving village under the dumpster behind a 7-11. He makes a lot of friends along the way, and even learns a thing or two – $19.1 million

4. I’m actually surprised this didn’t do better business, what with all the word of mouth on how original and entertaining it is – $15.5 million

5. There’s already a spot in my DVD collection, between Goodfellas and Casino, where this movie will one day find its final resting place – $8 million