- COMPLETE BULLSH*T THING WE WISH WERE NOT: A Jessica Simpson sex tape. Riiiiight, and be sure to look out next week for the Jessica Alba/Biel/Simpson lesbian 3-way video. Besides, everyone knows Jessica’s dad only shoots stills. (Gullible Bloggers)
- VAN DAMMIT: Jean Claude Van Damme will not be starring in Rush Hour 3, which means we will not be seeing Rush Hour 3. (Empire Online)
- CASUAL ENCOUNTER: Some Fortune 500 CEO gets understandably blackmailed by a hot young thing he met on Craigslist. (The Smoking Gun)
- HARD TIME: OJ Simpson isn’t nearly as good at golf as he is at murdering people. (TMZ)
- PORN FOR PARIS HILTON: Here’s how cocaine is made. Keep hoovering it up, kiddies! (Cityrag)
