Listen, we’re not going to rag on Lindsay Lohan for releasing a long and rambling statment regarding the death of Robert Altman yesterday. Different people deal with grief in different ways. Some people internalize it, others feel the need to share their thoughts through a publicist. That’s FINE. We’re not going to mock. However, we are going to request one simple thing: if you’re friends with Lindsay Lohan, please don’t die. Do whatever it is you have to do to live forever… or at least outlive her. Don’t drink, don’t smoke, don’t do drugs… basically, look at what Lindsay does and do the opposite. That’s a start.
We’re not cracking wise here. We’re being sincere. Don’t die. It’s cute and endearing when Lindsay writes things like “Make a searching and fearless moral inventory of yourselves’ (12st book) -everytime there’s a triumph in the world a million souls hafta be trampled on” now because she’s young. But if she keeps it up, eventually we’re going to have to make fun of her. We’d have no choice. And we don’t want that to happen. So do us a favor– don’t die. Any of you (yes, even you Paris.) Thank you.
