Ohmygod b*tchez, guess who the latest couple of Hollywood hotties who’ve been caught “canoodling” enough times by anonymous “insiders” that they’ve caused the tabloid rags to up their status to “In a relationship”? It’s Kirsten Dunst and Orlando Bloom! Can I get an “OMG LOL WTF ROFL!”? I mean, this is the most SHOCKING, INTERESTING and EXCITING news I’ve heard in the last four minutes, and it immediately poses two critical questions:
a) How many celebrity gossip writers will make a pun using the word “Bloom” in relation to love “blooming”?; and
b) What will the inevitable tabloid nickname be? “Bloomst”? “Dubloomer”? Personally, I’m partial to “Dumb”.
Ah, how the Arbitrary Matching of Super-Fascinating Famous People game can be so confounding! However, this scorching hot gossip couldn’t come at a more perfect time, because the film they starred in together, Elizabethtown, just so happens to be making its late night cable debut on the Encore Love channel this week! SIZZLING!
