Usually, a headline such as the one above would indicate that “rocker”-cum-toothless-hobo Pete Doherty had finally flown too close to the heroin-addled sun and overdosed on drugs. This morning, however, is an exception. As it seems Pete Doherty was rushed to the ER after getting fiance Kate Moss’s engagement ring stuck on his finger. In an article that reads straight out of the Perfect Strangers handbook, Doherty shoved Kate’s ring on as a goof and quickly realized it wasn’t coming off. This is simple science: When your girlfriend’s hand looks like a reanimated limb from the Grim Reaper himself, ideally you wouldn’t want to put the Cheerio-sized metal loop on your own finger.

Luckily, expert staff at the Princess Grace Hospital were able to use enough Crisco to clip the thing off (the very definition of foreshadowing, if you ask us). We’re not big fans of Doherty, but if he keeps up slapstick antics like this, we’ll have no choice but to love the horribly b.o.’d googly-eyed stard. We hope he accepts our congratulations for his second non-drug related hospital visit in his lifetime. (The first being his birth.)