Today the big news in the world is that Emmitt Smith beat out Mario Lopez during last night’s Dancing With The Stars season finale to take the title and taint his obituary (think about it: “NFL All-Time Rushing Leader, Dancing With The Stars Champion, Dead at 74.”) I didn’t know how important Emmitt’s victory was until I received an angry phone call from my co-worker Jaime (not her real name), who yelled at me for neglecting Dancing With The Stars all morning. Rather than do the proper research, I decided to transcribe what she said word-for-word as she ranted about the results. I type fast. So here it is- a recap from somebody who really, truly cared:
It’s 12:18 and I can’t believe you didn’t write anything about Dancing With The Stars yet! It was crazy! I screamed at the TV when Emmitt won. I haven’t yelled at the TV like that since… O.J. My husband was sleeping and I woke him up and he was like “what’s wrong? What’s wrong?” And I said “Emmitt won!”
He just won because he was clearly the nicer person. Mario was clearly the better dancer. Much better. Mario cheated on his wife and he got what was due to him. You’re typing what I’m saying, aren’t you? Stop it.
I think it came down to the freestyle in the end… or that Mario cheated on his wife– the Doritos girl. I did like Emmit’s freestyle better… I didn’t like Mario’s… but he still should’ve won. Please don’t post this. Seriously.
There you have it. Is Jaime (not her real name) right, or do think Emmit deserved to win? Let us know what you think… assuming you care too.
