We really don’t give Jessica Simpson enough credit. For a girl whose father is this side of Molesty Culkin, she is unbelieeeevably normal. Daddy Joe Simpson is a frosty-tipped publicity gigolo who, for an ex-pastor, has absolutely no problem taking photos of his daughter in pure ex-coital bliss. Let’s kick off the creeptown train and reminisce to 2004, when Joe waxed hoetic to GQ Magazine about Jess’s rack: “She’s got double-D’s! You can’t cover those suckers up!” In his defense, Jessica tells Jane:

We’re Podunk Southern. And my dad is very open about his ideas and…it’s disgusting that people would actually think…people are making a judgment on something that is false.

Is it disgusting, Jessica? Is it? Because, judging by the above photograph, taken by your father, a bedsheet barely covering up your bathing suit places and an indentation in the neighboring pillow that just screams Premarital Sex, we think your father should take a long hard look at his insanely puppet-like features, run his fingers over that rhinestoned WWJD bracelet he so loves, and reconsider what exactly his motives are. Feel free to talk about your huge rack J, but please, keep it outside of the family.