Whitney Houston Is the New Rick James

Whitney Houston has been all over the tabloids these past few weeks, with seperate reports of both her raging crack habit and penchant for sex-toy-enhanced lesbian loving. But who can believe the gossip rags these days? Luckily, CRACKED has gotten their hands on the official press release, a missive from Whitney herself. And you know what? From now on, she’s only getting high on life and free cocaine.